Why Peter Navarro Is Our Dumbass of the Week
Congratulations to Peter Navarro, White House trade adviser and this week’s recipient of The Sanity Project’s Dumbass of the Week Award.
Competition was stiff. But Peter understood the assignment. Why say one ridiculous thing about Canada when you can squeeze two into the same week?
Reason #1: Canada Is Apparently Sleeping With China
Navarro took aim at Canada for getting too cosy with Beijing, portraying Canadian engagement with China as a threat, while Washington itself continues to negotiate with Beijing.
This is apparently diplomacy according to Peter Navarro: when America talks to China, it’s strategy. When Canada talks to China, we’re “getting in bed” with Beijing.
Perhaps Canada is supposed to sit quietly on the edge of the bed until Washington tells us whom we’re allowed to trade with.
There is, however, a small problem.
Canada has spent decades overwhelmingly dependent on the American market. Now, after Washington repeatedly weaponised that dependence through tariffs and trade restrictions, Canada is trying to diversify.
And Navarro is upset about it.
That’s rather like setting your neighbour’s house on fire and becoming offended when he starts pricing fire extinguishers.
Reason #2: Stop Interfering With Our Elections!
Then Peter really got rolling.
Speaking in Washington, Navarro told Canadian lobbyists to “get the hell out of our country.” He compared Canada economically to a rowboat facing an American aircraft carrier and warned that if Canada interfered in elections in Maine or Michigan, we would “pay even more dearly.”
Apparently Canadian lobbying and trade retaliation now qualify as election interference.
This lecture might carry slightly more weight if the Trump administration hadn’t recently sent Vice President JD (Couch-Boy) Vance to Hungary five days before its national election to campaign for Viktor Orbán.
Vance appeared at an Orbán rally, announced that he wanted to help him win, and then put Donald Trump on speakerphone so the president could praise Orbán to thousands of supporters.
But Canada is talking to American politicians?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Election interference!
Apparently foreign election involvement is unacceptable unless you fly there, climb onto the campaign stage and bring the President along by speakerphone.
So congratulations, Peter.
For complaining that Canada is finding other trading partners while simultaneously complaining that Canada is defending itself in Washington, you’ve earned this week’s trophy.
And Peter, that rumbling noise you’re hearing from north of the border?
That’s millions of Canadian hosers politely inviting you to get stuffed.
Enjoy the trophy, Peter.
And watch where you step.
There’s a rake underneath it.
Comes down to this: I'd rather sleep with China than get fucked by America.
I would like to nominate David Pepper, Ohio's Democratic nominee for Lt Governor as runner up for needlessly using Canada and Bombardier as election props.